I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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