I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
