The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
