just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
