He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
