I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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