You're my little dorito
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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