I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
