nut hugger
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
