I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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