North Korea, Best Korea!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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