Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
