i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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