hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
