eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
