so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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