And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just blew my weed a kiss
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
