he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
