I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
