the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we're making bets on your personal life
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
