My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wear drunk well.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
