Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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