You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
