I'm lost and stupid without you.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize