Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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