I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's even glitter on my cock...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
