I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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