Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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