This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
