dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
