I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
