You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
