Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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