I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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