I am puke
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
