Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
