A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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