i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
