Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
