What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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