He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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