The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
