I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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