So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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