DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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