the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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