I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
