You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
