dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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