you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
