we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
barbara walters just said penis...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize