She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
