Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
