He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
