did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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