They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
