Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
