You're my little dorito
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
