Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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