So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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