You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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