"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
