I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
