1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he was CRYING into my vagina
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
