Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize