Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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