I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize