help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
