Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
