i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
