That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize