well I can't set my house on fire every night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
