the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
