Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
